Pandemic News and Why I don't Read it

Good morning everyone!  For me it is truly a good morning.  I have recently figured out that some of the people who spend a great deal of effort keeping me informed of the really terrible things in our world are people who believe they are doing me a favor.  They also believe that my elevator does not go to the top and that I am incapable of processing our dire circumstances.  This makes me laugh but lately I've taken to sharing more of how I really think. Instead of using my own limited words, I may post an article or a picture on Facebook that expresses my opinion at the moment.  I use the word opinion loosely.  I probably usually mean my belief system.

I have been social distancing myself for a few years now and it has improved my self-talk, helped me to align with my dreams instead of being manipulated by the criticisms of other people, and it has encouraged me to allow my natural strengths and creativity to rise to the forefront of my mind rather than chores and housework.  I don't have to make sure that I've done enough work to justify the expectations of others perception of my environment.  The first biggest pay-off has been an increase in my energy towards projects that are successful and bring long-term enjoyment.  The second thing is that I've been able to devote more time to my education following subjects that interest me or help me actualize a dream.

I've listened to a lot of scientists, doctors, and medical personnel who study the brain, the body, and the spirit.  I listen to audio books that increase my understanding of our internal ticking.  There are a few very simple facts that I'm sure some of you have heard me mention before.  One of them is the way testosterone effects men.  

We all know that advertisers put women in bikinis on motorcycles in posters because the nearly naked woman spikes a mans testosterone. Men spend more money when testosterone spikes.  A man who knows this, might be stimulated, but he isn't likely to go out and buy a motorcycle because of that poster.  The reason advertisers still do it, is because it still works.  

Cosmetic ads work a little differently on women.  Women in the United States are more likely to spend money on something they don't need if they believe it will make them beautiful, because they are being fed subtle and non-subtle clues that they must compete with other women if they are to be accepted by others.  Teeth whitening agents are another very strange commodity.  Naturally my teeth are not white and never were.  They are more of an ivory color.  For me to judge myself based on the inability to have white teeth is incredibly silly but it is much more common than you might think.  The same goes with the bra thing.  I wear a bra because it is painful to ride a lawnmower or drive a tractor over uneven terrain without support.  I do not wear a specific one so that I might make you think my boobs are pretty darn perky.  Frankly, I never once believed that any of you care whether or not my boobs are perky.

The brain is amazing.  If you want to remember a grocery list, it is easy to do if you make crazy relations to things.  Here's a short list and I bet you will remember it far longer than you want. Milk: A cow with a swollen udder just ran through my house. Rice: a pile of maggots in the compost pile. Coffee: wake up and poop. Honey: Ferdinand the bull getting stung by a bee.  So all you do is tell yourself there are four things to remember and list them one at a time in your head connecting them to something weird.  You get to the store and it all comes back with ease and no list needed.  You may even find you don't really want to eat rice anymore.

When you eat food, get hugs, work in your garden on a glorious day, read a fantastic book, and a number of other pleasant things, your body chemically reacts in your behalf.  Anti-depressant medication is based on this chemical behavior.  Here's a trick a lot of depressed people have learned. Take the medication until you have achieved the state you want.  Meditate on that state and rehash the great things in your day and the great way you feel over and over.  As you leave the medication behind you may be able to leave depression behind simply by stimulating your own brain chemistry with the upgraded thought patterns.  This doesn't work for a number of people for a couple of reasons.  The most common reason is that the brain is processing more reasons to be depressed or possibly the same reason over and over and over, making the pathway to depression a well-pounded road.  Watching the news to get information is one thing but watching the same depressing news over and over and over makes those pathways to depression a highway with faster speed limits allowing you to dive into depression more quickly.  Another thing that a lot of people who suffer from depression have discovered is the need for vitamins like vitamin D in their diet and in their life style.  It doesn't matter how much vitamin D you take in, if something you are doing or eating is taking out more than what goes in.  A holistic approach has helped a lot of people.   I've always said that I haven't been depressed.  I have learned that I have been depressed, just not enough to go to a doctor about it.  My depression has shown itself in a lack of energy or attention to details in my home.  My depression has never taken me down all the way because I have animals to take care of and all that entails causes me to go about things in a way that pumps pleasant chemicals into my body.

So, this virus thing is pretty serious but to me personally, the Ben Davis thing and the John Stevens thing were much worse.  The year my sister Kathi tried to get my kids taken away was pretty horrific.  I'm not denying that there are people dying and that our world is changing rapidly.  But in my personal world people and animals have died and my world has changed rapidly. I know that product shortages are real.  That has always been true in my life.  I have much more available to me today than I have ever had in my entire life, even with a growing pandemic.  I am actually happier today than I was a year ago and it is because of social distancing and not watching facts be presented to me as drama.  

So my message today is be aware of what you are exposing yourself to and be aware of what you are spreading.  Fear is not a solution, it is a reaction.  We have an unknown element sweeping the world and our attention to it is required but our addiction to paying attention to the news is a physical, chemical, activity.  It is as powerful as alcoholism. 

In my conversations with my mother it has become increasingly clear that her resentments of childhood are fed regularly by her attention to the detail of repeating them today.  It has been my challenge to tell her that her surly, resentful, small minded, biting criticisms, about things that happened decades ago, aren't mine to experience with her.  As you can tell by the way I honestly said that to you, that I am severely challenged to say it to her in a kind, compassionate, and loving way.  The truth is that I couldn't find a way to tell her kindly.  I would say I didn't want to hear it.  I even said it upsets my stomach.  I've said it doesn't have anything to do with me.  Finally, I just took to hanging up on her, because it didn't really matter to her how I was negatively impacted by it.  It has never occurred to me throw her past behavior toward me in her face.  Luckily for her, she decided she wanted to have contact with me more than she wanted to talk shit. Once in a while I still have say that revisiting that topic is not a good idea and usually she skips it and gets to her original point.  People literally are addicted to their old story, resentments, and misery.  Once the good, bad, right, or wrong labels are removed, those that want to be happier, spend less time and attention revisiting those nuero-pathways.  The reason I have such a physical reaction to that kind of negativity is due to my brain understanding that I have been abandoned with an overwhelming responsibility to keep myself and three other tiny humans safe.  A child cannot process this.  They simply act on it.  I don't plan to let the news media hold my nervous system hostage any more than I will let my mother, the very person who abandoned me as a small child, continue to hold my nervous system hostage.  

On a less serious note.  In 2008 I wrote a novel called Survivors: The Pandemic.  Sometimes I get the title wrong.  Anyway, I killed people off with the flu.  Now with the real thing going on, I should be able to revisit my lame manuscript with better facts.  

Sincerely, Carmen