Volunteering

Volunteering is when you do something of your own volition for someone else.  It is done as a way to share back with your community whatever that community is to you.  It is an act done with no expectation of repayment.  It is also an act that I believe is essential for our own growth and spiritual nourishment.

I was the president of the farmer's market 6 years total,  I volunteered at the library at South Kitsap High School for a while, and I tutored illiterate adults to read, but most of my volunteering has been with loved ones like Marge and my sister-in-law, Soni.  Volunteering is where I think I learned the most and found the most long term satisfaction.  Only other volunteers can really understand the rewards of volunteering, so I can't explain it on paper.  It has to be experienced.

There are a number of ways to volunteer and I pasted a link from AARP at the end of this post for those looking to help in their community.  Just type in your zip code for opportunities near you.  If you are looking to volunteer for someone closer to you, someone you know, keep your ears and eyes open, and you will find an opportunity that suits you.

I recently lost Marge, one of the important people in my life who helped me when I was younger.  Marjorie Louise Eley was there for me in the capacity of a mother, one of many that I have found, but definitely the most important one of my life.  She told me about community property among a number of other modern concepts, explaining quite clearly that I had rights.  She also told me that if my birth mother ever asked for the time I shared with her, I was to give my birth mother first position.  She made it clear that a mother's role was very important and that no matter what, I was to forgive and to be ready to have a relationship with my mother if she ever came around to wanting to spend time with me.  She went so far as to have conversations at the farmer's market with my mother in a way that caused my mother to feel jealous enough to approach me and attempt to create a relationship again.  At the time my mother was incredibly immature and Marge just kept saying things like, "You are wasting a perfectly good daughter".   She applauded my virtues relentlessly until my mother actually said, "I want to see what there was about you that made her go on like that." Until that time my mother's perception of her children was so clouded by her own guilt that she was opinionated, controlling, and certain that she was right.  It took years to set our relationship into a healthy direction but if it weren't for Marge, it would have never happened.  My perception of my mother was based on childhood stories of fairy godmothers.  She wasn't there for us very often but when she was, she would take us to a store and give us each a dollar to spend.  After that she would take us home and we wouldn't see her again for another 2 years or so.  I believed that what she had done with us was unforgivable because as adults she attempted to control us and manipulate us by disowning or not speaking to us if we didn't see things her way.  Marge showed me that I was wrong about that, but she also showed me that my mother was not in charge of me.  The goal was to have a relationship with her with love, not judgement.  

I was blessed by being able to brighten the last few years of her life by taking her out to lunch, doing a little 2nd hand shopping together, and talking about anything and everything.  Our conversation never ran out.  As she became more frail, I found it easy to be patient with her, and do little things like bringing a shopping cart to her so when she got out of the car she could use it for support.  I was able to buy her old van, old riding mower, and a generator from her, giving her some much needed cash as she struggled with her husband and his Alzheimer's.  When he passed away I still took her out at least twice a month and we'd have our talks and in general thoroughly enjoy our time together.  Volunteering to be there for her was a pleasure.  

Sincerely, Carmen


The following link is provided by AARP.  You click on the link and type in your zip code along with an area of an interest.  I just typed in my zip code and came up with the opportunities in Kitsap County.

https://createthegood.aarp.org/volunteer-search.html