Forgiveness
There are a lot of articles about forgiveness on the Internet. There are a lot of books written about forgiving. It is an extremely valuable topic that we deserve to explore more deeply. Somehow it is easy to say and often I think I have forgiven but I recently began taking an action that has freed me more than I could have imagined.
I send a picture to a person on Facebook that causes a list of names to pop-up. One of the names on that list is a person who I need to forgive. I'm giving myself credit for not giving up sending a humorous picture to someone who really needs to laugh more. It was painful to see this other person's name every day.
I listened to a speaker who said to speak the forgiveness words out loud. I grudgingly started doing it instead of trying to be faster at typing in the correct name. I didn't like doing it. I could tell that I wanted to be mad at this person. I questioned myself about that since I really don't like to be mad at anybody. The answer that came to me was my fear of forgetting that this person will never be a safe person in my life. I'm actually afraid I'll forget and trust the person again. That made me laugh.
Every time I saw the name I said, "I forgive ______ _______." The pain lessened it time I did it and now it seems like I hardly see the name anymore even though I still send the other person a picture daily. I still practice the "forgive phrase" but the inner icky that I was feeling toward this person has left me. I doubt I'll ever feel good about the person since that wouldn't be good for me unless there was a heavenly intervention that changed them and their family.
There are a number of triggers that recall the pain and anguish and most of them seem to have disappeared. I say most of them because I hadn't been triggered in a long time and was surprised when the family name popped up and I felt that dreaded feeling again. I said, "I forgive __________ ______________," which released me immediately. I'm not hesitating to dig into my own paperwork in fear of seeing more hideous reminders. Those reminders have turned into old news and are nothing more than that.
Carmen
I send a picture to a person on Facebook that causes a list of names to pop-up. One of the names on that list is a person who I need to forgive. I'm giving myself credit for not giving up sending a humorous picture to someone who really needs to laugh more. It was painful to see this other person's name every day.
I listened to a speaker who said to speak the forgiveness words out loud. I grudgingly started doing it instead of trying to be faster at typing in the correct name. I didn't like doing it. I could tell that I wanted to be mad at this person. I questioned myself about that since I really don't like to be mad at anybody. The answer that came to me was my fear of forgetting that this person will never be a safe person in my life. I'm actually afraid I'll forget and trust the person again. That made me laugh.
Every time I saw the name I said, "I forgive ______ _______." The pain lessened it time I did it and now it seems like I hardly see the name anymore even though I still send the other person a picture daily. I still practice the "forgive phrase" but the inner icky that I was feeling toward this person has left me. I doubt I'll ever feel good about the person since that wouldn't be good for me unless there was a heavenly intervention that changed them and their family.
There are a number of triggers that recall the pain and anguish and most of them seem to have disappeared. I say most of them because I hadn't been triggered in a long time and was surprised when the family name popped up and I felt that dreaded feeling again. I said, "I forgive __________ ______________," which released me immediately. I'm not hesitating to dig into my own paperwork in fear of seeing more hideous reminders. Those reminders have turned into old news and are nothing more than that.
Carmen
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