Mastermind Blog

I have to laugh because I totally forgot about my Mastermind Post for July!  It has been a busy time for me.  Not busy in that I've been doing a zillion things, but busy in the way my mind has been growing and wrapping itself around quantum leaping.  I may use phrases that don't set well with people because they have notions about "New Age" phraseology.   I grew in in a right-wing-christian-conservative environment that was ruled at home by a woman who believed all women and children should be sheltered and not know anything.  We girls were also not allowed in the kitchen except to do dishes.  We were not taught to be homemakers but were expected to KNOW what we were supposed to do.  All in all it was a very limiting environment therefore I struggle with the phraseology of born again Christians, or republicans, or lifestyles where the man is totally in charge.  I'm not judging the people who have these belief systems because I deeply believ...

Please read the post before this one for the real June letter.  Thanks. If you feel that another woman would benefit from these blog posts, feel free to pass on the link.  I know that some of you are very shy to put your thoughts here, but you are very strong on supporting others growth, so please don't hesitate to put your kudos in the comments.  If you are concerned about your anonymity use a fake name.  I'll still read comments sent by Big Foot, Barn Owl, or even Little Beaver.   It doesn't matter what our names are.  What matters is that we are finding support for our growth and change and acknowledging that others are on that same path.   This may seem like a small step for women but it is much larger than you think. Sincerely, Carmen 

Dear Readers, The first Thursday of June passed without me even noticing it.  I still believe Mastermind Meetings to be very important.  I also am willing to admit that my chaos is not conducive to good meetings.   Over the last month I've gone from sidling through a chaotic mess to shifting the chaos all over the place.  In the midst of this mess the Phoenix, who is me, is rising higher with more colorful plumage than ever.  As the grass grows taller and the flowers bloom, I am surrounded by a ragged but beautiful environment.  Twice I have forgotten that my riding lawn mower needs a battery.  I finally put that on my list today. The restorers have finished their part of the job on my home and now it is my turn.  I have been sifting through years of accumulated junk for quite some time now.  As I toss the unknown things away, I vow not to accept other people's garbage.  That doesn't mean I wouldn't take a used bird ...

Over the last two days, Teia has sent me some truly great links.  These short presentations don't take long to listen to and are well worth it.  This is what I'm looking for as we share with each other.  Teia has embraced change even though it is terrifying for her and she feels that she is a failure, she keeps standing back up and giving it another go.  I am proud of you Teia!   This article is not in her voice.  It is about the links she shared with me. I learned a lot about Gaslighting during therapy sessions and have been surprised at how much of this has gone on in my life.  It is so much easier to let go of the opinion of others now.  I also learned that anyone challenging my intelligence, my heart, or simply trying to coerce me by forceful speaking, is not interested in my well being.  These people are serving their own agenda and the longer and louder they try to convince me, the more certain I am that I need to step ba...

I believe in love.  Love of animals, love of nature, love of family, love of friends, and love of life.  My first instinct when asked what I believe in, is to say that I dislike hate.  I asked myself why I would answer a question backwards that way.  The quick answer is habit.  I learned it somewhere.  Old habits are things I'm questioning deeply these days.  My previous blog post was about being overwhelmed and I think that being overwhelmed makes the hate comments more weighty to me.  I have always had enough of my own problems.  Listening to hate rants is far too daunting and cumbersome.  It isn't inspiring, uplifting, or motivational. I'm sure that I have made conversation weighty and cumbersome for others in the past too. I apologize and hope not to do it again. This morning the sun is rising and even though my window is grubby from a cat asking to be let in on a regular basis, the sun still shines through.  A thick patch o...

Overwhelmed: One definition as a verb: "Bury or drown beneath a huge mass." I always perceived the word to mean, "I give up because there is too much to do."   I have always been buried beneath much more than one person could accomplish but I didn't drown.  I didn't give up. I did reach a point about 5 weeks before Ben died where I thought I couldn't take another step but I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up in the morning I was ready to go at it again.  That week I had to leave him at the hospital for 3 days and I got some much needed rest.  That got me through the last month of his life. I look back even farther at being a parent of 4 children at seventeen years old and I had to be overwhelmed but I only knew it the day Ben's ex-wife tried to move in with us.  I called my mother and she came and got her and took her away. The day the Land Commander travel trailer fell off of the trailer hitch as I entered the black top was another tim...

There are a lot of articles about forgiveness on the Internet.  There are a lot of books written about forgiving.  It is an extremely valuable topic that we deserve to explore more deeply.  Somehow it is easy to say and often I think I have forgiven but I recently began taking an action that has freed me more than I could have imagined.   I send a picture to a person on Facebook that causes a list of names to pop-up.  One of the names on that list is a person who I need to forgive.  I'm giving myself credit for not giving up sending a humorous picture to someone who really needs to laugh more.  It was painful to see this other person's name every day.   I listened to a speaker who said to speak the forgiveness words out loud.  I grudgingly started doing it instead of trying to be faster at typing in the correct name.  I didn't like doing it.  I could tell that I wanted to be mad at this person.  I questioned mysel...